Dear Asshole

Dear Asshole,

Look at that I even capitalized your name, I'm so nice. ha, I am really nice actually, which is why I wonder what makes you feel you needed to treat me the way you did. Your casual, non-classy, undignified attempts at being "sincere" are no longer noticed. It's funny cause all my friends seen what you did to me, and yet they are still friends with you...kind of makes me question my friendships but that's for another blog. And funnier yet is that occasionally they decide to say "Oh Crystal, he's been cheating on you forever _____ has known for awhile but she was to afraid to say so. I'm telling you so you get over him" Again, really questioning my friendships.

But regardless, I get it. Whether you were unfaithful or not you are still an asshole. And if I were to say these things to your face they wouldn't phase you. And then you go and run and whine and complain and get everyone on your side again. So therefore I blog it. But really, I know in the end I've won. Because I know about all the problems you have in your life and that I was the only person you could share them with. And mainly only me, because you suck at choosing good friends, and the others don't care. Well there's Reker but lets be honest, he has a great relationship with his girlfriend why would he get lost in your bullshit. So I know in that way that I won, cause I do have true friends. Some of them, but that's all I need.

I guess really the only nice things I can and should say (cause if I share more I will fall into that horrendous black hole again) is thanks. Thanks for showing me love. Cause for the first year that's what we really had. Thanks for teaching me how to care for someone, and feel things I never thought imaginable. Thanks for introducing me to a life where I don't constantly rely on my parents or other people. Thanks for making me stand on my two feet and stand up for myself. And lastly, thanks for leaving me multiple times when I really fucking needed you. For the times when I needed a smile, or a hug or even just a hi. Thanks for disappointing me repeatedly. Thank you for breaking my heart into X2465649867369384765967597 pieces every couple of months, good times. And you know what? Thanks for ruining every single special moment that was supposed to happen to me in high school.Thanks a fucking lot.

You are single-handedly the most selfish person I have ever known in my entire life. Everything that was ours you made into yours. Everything that was mine was yours. You took everything from me. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, you drained me. You actually expected me to wait around for you forever, your that fucking vain? get a fucking grip you ignorant prick. I;m sorry that your life sucks, but don't drag me down too.

So this is me signing off on our relationship. Signing off this shitty place that I used to call love. I'm done.Done.Done. This is me walking away for good, have a great life and I hope you find someone else to manipulate and take advantage of.

uhm hi, my names crystal

Soooo, cloud 9 right now cause I actually feel important <3

Cheers to the asshole.

So much for blogging properly...
Today I discovered a song that really explains me and the way I need to think, Always by Saliva- check it out. And so this is for that pompous asshole.

Basically it just says I'm so done with you. And in actuality I am so very done with you. Kick me down, push me, spit on me, every which way you destroyed me and who I used to be, I will be better. I've seen myself fall prey to you countless times and every time you disappoint me, so why the fuck would I still try? I wont anymore, do not text me, do not call me, leave me alone. Do not think that you can lean on me, do not think that I will forever help you through your problems, and don't you DARE think that you can use me for whatever you please. I am not your welcome mat anymore, I am not that girl that you can trample all over and expect to get back up again. Cause I am better than you, and I'm moving on to bigger and better things. You have messed with my head for the last time. "I love you, I hate you. " <- words I will forever live by thanks to you.

So, cheers to you asshole.
p.s. I drank your alcohol.